Psalm 4

I'm not even really sure where to begin...

I'm sitting on my couch with the TV quietly musing in the background.  My brain is completely fried, my body totally sore, and I'm doing everything short of using toothpicks to hold my eyes open.  It has been a very busy and emotional couple of days.  Some great friends and mentors came in town to visit and help with some academy maintenance.  It was so good to see them, and I hated seeing them go. 

However, I have discovered a wonderful new friendship which has been like the warm sunshine on a very cold and windy Foley, AL day. 

Out of all 8 verses of Psalm 4, there is only one that brings a calmness to my spirit tonight: verse 7 -
"You have given me greater joy that those who have abundant harvests of grain or new wine..."  In biblical times, the abundance of the harvest was such a pivotal time for the community - and often determined the sustainability of the upcoming year.  A new wine meant a "par-tay," a time to celebrate and have a good time.  David was a shepherd by trade; he new the importance of abundance and the joy of festivities - and he's saying that God gives him a greater joy than that!

How I long to be in that place, where there is no greater joy than God.  "Better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house.  Better is one day in Your courts, than thousands else where." 
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Father,
I wonder, often, if my heart will ever beat for you like it once did.  I wonderful if my walk will, one day, be stronger than ever.  Sometimes I think it is so impossible.  My heart struggles each day and it is filled with so many conflicting emotions - I can barely feel straight!  I want things to be made right; I want you to be my greatest joy!  Lord, please help me.  AMEN.