Silence can be more than Golden

I had a wonderful thing happen to me this morning.  I was talking with a friend, laying bare the inner workings of my heart.  I was asking hard questions; expressing doubt and my inability to understand.  She listend intently and offered a few comments, but other than that - she didn't really say much.  I dont' know that I was expecting answers. 

We sat next to each other...just sat there.  After several minutes, I turned to her - she just smiled.  I thought of Job.  Now, i'm not saying that my situation is anything like what Job went through.  What drew my thoughts to him was this: Job 2:11-13

"When three of Job’s friends heard of the tragedy he had suffered, they got together and traveled from their homes to comfort and console him. Their names were Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw dust into the air over their heads to show their grief. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words."

There are a few times when I confide in friends, looking for words of wisdom or comfort.  But the majority of the time, just having someone take a few moments of their time to sit with me, to just listen with empathy, kindness and without judgement.  If truth be told, I don't really care what is said to me in a time of brokenness; just knowing that someone is there is worth more than gold.

It's a Survivor thing...

So...I have a wonderful friend who is a breast cancer survivor.  Each time I talk with her, I am encouraged, empowered and inspired.  She has survived unspeakable hardships, been tossed in the firey furnace - only to walk out with a smile, and a heart that is so strong.

I'm pretty sure that we have all 'survived' many things.  The business lunch we're dreading, the presentation we're scared of, the medical results, the surgery, the loss of a loved one...  Each time we take the next step toward tomorrow, regardless of how painful or unstable it may be, we become a survivor. 

I found out a few weeks ago that I tore my ACL and will need reconstructive knee surgery in June.  Certainly not life threatening, but I will be unable to many things that are now a part of my daily routine, at least for a while. 

I think, though, the most difficult thing for me to deal with was how the surgery will effect my job I love.  I'll be able to continue to teach, but from a chair.  And I won't be able to actually "do" TaeKwonDo for 4-6 months.  That sounds like an incredibly long time.  I'm planning to test in a couple of weeks for 2nd degree, Level 2 - but I won't be able to test again until December. 

There are so many emotions attached to this surgery.  On the one hand, I'm excited at the possibility of moving with less pain and my knee being stronger.  On the other hand, I'm scared; scared of the pain, the post surgery therapy, scared of not being able to do my job effectively. 

I took a 4-mile bike ride this morning; a painfree ride.  During those 4 miles, I thought of my survivor friend...and her strength.  I realized...I have the blood of a survivor coursing through my veins.  Each trial is another chance to inspire and be inspired, to encourage and be encouraged, to trust and be trusted. 

I am a SURVIVOR.