To Quit or Not to Quit

This past Sunday I did my longest bike ride today; 23.5 miles over a period of 2 hours and 18 minutes.  I can say this now with a smile, and a feeling of accomplishment.  However, during those 138 minutes a war raged in my head. 

While we here on the coast of Alabama did not feel the brunt of Tropical Storm Debbie, we did feel the outer bands of wind…a lot of wind.  My desired trip took me from my house, down highway 20 to the Orange Beach Expressway where I turned onto the south-bound lane heading toward the beaches.  Once I got to the toll booth, I turned around and headed north toward highway 98.  Here is where it got tough.

To be safe, I left my car key at the house just in case I’d gotten hurt and needed to be collected somewhere along my journey.  It was a wise decision, but it haunted me.  During my northern ascent, I desperately wanted to call someone to get in my car, and come get me.  Each time that I would stop and rest, the temptation grew stronger.  Thoughts flooded my mind:  “What if I fail?  This is ridiculous, what was I thinking coming out here on a day like today?  I can’t do this.  This is too painful, too tiring, too…hard.”

Then I thought about all those who’d donated to the Young Survivors Coalition on my behalf.  I thought about the kind words and encouragement I’ve received from so many about this race.  And I thought about my friend Jean.  I could hear them cheering me on, supporting me, telling me not to quit.  So I just kept going.  I road for 7 miles in a 14mph headwind all the way to highway 98. 

I turned onto Hwy 98 and headed for downtown, where I stop and took a break to rehydrate at a beautiful park we are privileged to have.  I saw two older women walking; pumping their arms – working up a sweat.  It made me smile.  It’s great to have someone to workout with who pulls you along when you are stubborn and jus’ don’t wanna go anymore. 

About 20 yards behind them was another woman pumping her arms, working up a sweat – but she was lone.  As she passed me she smiled, asked how I was doing, keep right not trucking along.  It’s really hard to find the drive sometimes to just keep going…alone.

Those 7, headwind-filled miles felt very lonely at times.  The journey is tough.  If it wasn’t tough, everyone would do it.  It’s the tough that makes it great!  

After all was said and done; after my bike was in the garage and I had showered the grime off of me; after the aches had subsided – I was grateful.  Having been injured pretty badly a year ago, I was very grateful that my legs still worked enough to bike.  I was grateful for those who believed in me, and who cheered me on.  I was grateful that I didn’t quit. 

To Quit or Not to Quit is not the question.  Anything I try, I will try 100 times – QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION!!!

I love you Jean and this ride is for YOU!!!!