To Quit or Not to Quit

This past Sunday I did my longest bike ride today; 23.5 miles over a period of 2 hours and 18 minutes.  I can say this now with a smile, and a feeling of accomplishment.  However, during those 138 minutes a war raged in my head. 

While we here on the coast of Alabama did not feel the brunt of Tropical Storm Debbie, we did feel the outer bands of wind…a lot of wind.  My desired trip took me from my house, down highway 20 to the Orange Beach Expressway where I turned onto the south-bound lane heading toward the beaches.  Once I got to the toll booth, I turned around and headed north toward highway 98.  Here is where it got tough.

To be safe, I left my car key at the house just in case I’d gotten hurt and needed to be collected somewhere along my journey.  It was a wise decision, but it haunted me.  During my northern ascent, I desperately wanted to call someone to get in my car, and come get me.  Each time that I would stop and rest, the temptation grew stronger.  Thoughts flooded my mind:  “What if I fail?  This is ridiculous, what was I thinking coming out here on a day like today?  I can’t do this.  This is too painful, too tiring, too…hard.”

Then I thought about all those who’d donated to the Young Survivors Coalition on my behalf.  I thought about the kind words and encouragement I’ve received from so many about this race.  And I thought about my friend Jean.  I could hear them cheering me on, supporting me, telling me not to quit.  So I just kept going.  I road for 7 miles in a 14mph headwind all the way to highway 98. 

I turned onto Hwy 98 and headed for downtown, where I stop and took a break to rehydrate at a beautiful park we are privileged to have.  I saw two older women walking; pumping their arms – working up a sweat.  It made me smile.  It’s great to have someone to workout with who pulls you along when you are stubborn and jus’ don’t wanna go anymore. 

About 20 yards behind them was another woman pumping her arms, working up a sweat – but she was lone.  As she passed me she smiled, asked how I was doing, keep right not trucking along.  It’s really hard to find the drive sometimes to just keep going…alone.

Those 7, headwind-filled miles felt very lonely at times.  The journey is tough.  If it wasn’t tough, everyone would do it.  It’s the tough that makes it great!  

After all was said and done; after my bike was in the garage and I had showered the grime off of me; after the aches had subsided – I was grateful.  Having been injured pretty badly a year ago, I was very grateful that my legs still worked enough to bike.  I was grateful for those who believed in me, and who cheered me on.  I was grateful that I didn’t quit. 

To Quit or Not to Quit is not the question.  Anything I try, I will try 100 times – QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION!!!

I love you Jean and this ride is for YOU!!!!

In HONOR of...

I am a Martial Arts instructor.  I do my very best to inspire my students to not only train to be the best TaeKwonDo artists and competitors they can but to also be the best people they can be.  I desire for each of them that they become amazing additions to their surrounding community.  We have ten tenants that are the focal point of our artistic journey.  Each training cycle we bring special attention to one of those tenants, and talk about what it means, how we (as artists) have demonstrated it and how we have seen it demonstrated in others.  I also require them to submit these points in writing.

This cycle’s tenant is HONOR.  I have been collecting their responses over the past few weeks, and I love taking a moment to read them.  Most of my students, regardless of age, equate HONOR with RESPECT – which is absolutely true, in every sense.  However, a few of my students made me take stock of some things. To HONOR someone is to acknowledge and appreciate their VALUE. To HONOR someone expresses LOVE.  To DO something in HONOR of someone, it is to express our gratitude for who they are, and what their life means to us. 

Four years ago (Come this September) , two ladies began their martial arts journey in two different training academies; knowing each other only by sight at first, then first names.  Our artistic journeys were intertwined from the start.  Slowly we became acquaintances, and then casual friends.  In October 2010, she began a fight for her life – and I moved to begin a new page of mine.  We have spoken every day since then. 

During 2011, I journeyed with her through her battle with Breast Cancer; through fear, doubt, tests, surgeries, and lowered self-image.  Through all of this though, I witnessed an incredible strength and depth of character.  And even during her darkest valleys, she remained a friend to me, and allowed me to be a friend to her. 

I want to HONOR her.  I want to acknowledge just how VALUABLE she is to me, and how much I appreciate and look up to her.  I want to express a love that goes deeper than circumstances and bad hair days.  I want to DO something in HONOR of a woman who does until she cannot do anymore; who gives until she can no longer give.  I want to put first, someone who always puts herself last so that others can be first.  I want to say THANK YOU to someone who never seeks out praise, and who puts off mountains of laundry to enjoy a cup of Mickey Mouse coffee with a friend.

The Tour de Pink Atlanta is my way of doing all this.  I am training now, and riding in September in HONOR of her.  Jean, this ride IS for YOU!