Purpose Prevails

I did my first 'open' ride this morning.  By 'open' I mean that I rode with traffic, very much out of my comfort zone. 

I had a purpose.  My long term goal is the YSC Tour de Pink Atlanta bike ride in late September.  My purpose this morning; however, was just to ride for 30-40 min.  There was no distance goal this time.  Those days will come later.  While I did meet my goal by riding for 37 minutes (5.87m) - I did find myself struggling, not physically but mentally. 

Fear: I do not have a rearview mirror on my bike yet, so I relied heavily on my ears to tell me if there was a car approaching behind me.  There was a fear that the oncoming car would not go around me with proper distance, instead they will drive past with a very narrow margin.  Fear was present, but it didn't stop me.

Doubt:  Am I insane?  Did I seriously just register for a 40m bike ride in Atlanta, GA?  What was I thinking?  The moment I turned from my neighborhood onto Hickory St (a slightly used highway during the day, except during morning school hours - where it's VERY busy) - I wanted to turn around and go back home.  People could see me, what would they think?  Am I actually going to be able to finish this short ride, making my goal?  WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?  Doubt was very present, but it did not stop me.

Purpose:  I thought about my survivor friend, and just kept pedaling.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Sometimes it's not about skill, or perfect form - it's just about going; doing.  A purpose was clear and present, and it didn't stop - until I'd met my goal. 

Fears, and doubts will always be present, but Purpose prevails.

Jean, this ride's for YOU. Ily